The first four plants I bought were a marble queen pothos, kalenchoe, tradescantia spathacea, and to my ultimate dismay, I bought a calathea ornata - otherwise known as the pinstripe prayer plant. Super cool plant in that it folds up its leaves at night looking like praying hands. I could use a little prayer in my life; I liked the idea of such character in a plant, so I brought him home and named him the Reverend.
Angee warned me they were known to be "a little moody," I believe was the verbiage she used that day. I chuckled and made a quip that it would fit in quite nicely in our teenage-hormone-filled house. I read several articles on proper care tips and things to watch out for that would suggest the plant isn't happy.
Within a few weeks, the Reverend started to look a little unhappy. I moved him to a different place that had a little less light, added a little more water... he progressively got worse. I laid off the water, added daily misting, and he acted like I was spraying him with acid. For two months, I spent hours researching how to make him happy. Put him here, put him there, bought TWO different humidifiers, pebble trays, made sure he had the perfect soil, gave him attention, completely ignored him. Talked to him and gently told him he'd better get his life together, or I would have to make a difficult decision about our future together. (wow, did THAT piss him off...) I even went to the store and intentionally bought another calathea (zebrina) on the off chance he was lonely and needed a prayer partner. No lie. That happened. I situated them on a large pebble tray, placed the humidifier between them, added a humidity/temp reader to ensure they were both getting exactly what was needed. He just sat there getting crispy and gasping for life while peeking at me through one good little leaf that suggested maybe, just maybe, he was going to pull through. Then, he got is girlfriend in on the gig. She was just as prissy as he was.
I left tap water out to purify and get to room temperature. No change. I switched to filtered water. Bout died. I started having distilled water DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE for this plant. He AND his new girlfriend mocked my love and shriveled into pathetic miniature shrubs of sorrow.
In February, the Midwest got hammered with a massive snow storm and bitter-cold temps. We were doing everything we could to keep the house temperature as warm as possible. Our furnace ran 24/7 for days on end, and the average temp in our house was around sixty-six degrees. I made the mistake of walking by the prissy plants, and I swear they were staring at me with their little angry leaves complaining about being cold. So, I grabbed them both up, opened the sliding glass door, and yeeted both of them off the back deck into a snow bank while yelling, "Oh, you're not happy in this lap of luxury? Maybe you'll be more comfy THERE." Plop...plop....
And then, I lived happily ever after. :)
Until....
I went on a plant purchasing spree in the spring. If it was green and beautiful, I had to have it immediately. I'd spent all winter caring for and researching all kinds of plants, and the time had come to put my knowledge into practice. I gathered all of my beauties to take pictures, identify them with my plant pic app (Picture This), add them to my collection on Pinterest, and when I got to this one, I froze, blinked twice, threw my head back and screamed, "Nooooooooo!"
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